You are the designer of your life. For better or worse. The only person keeping you from reaching your dreams is you. Now, I know that sounds a bit "in your face", but sometimes we need to be hit with the reality in order to make a change.

So often, we stand in our own way. (I know, I hate when people tell me that, too.) We self-sabotage our best efforts and then give up, feeling like a wounded victim. But, just like we have a choice in our happiness, we have a choice with the direction our life course takes. We are the designers of our lives. Designing is a creative process, but not a haphazard, caution-to –the-wind kind of artistic endeavor. Design requires planning, thought and, yes, a bit of creativity never hurts. Also, design is meant to be fun. So often our lives become so serious, so adult. Did you know that the average adult laughs just 15 times a day? The average child laughs more than 400. Kinda sad, isn't it?

How often have you written a life list with all the wonderful things you wish for yourself with as much gusto as you compose a grocery list? Do yourself a favor and recognize your role as the designer of your life. Write down your goals, and share them with friends and family. Do anything you can to make them more real and tangible right now! It’ll take some time, but once you see yourself in this role and begin to accept it, you’ll be gifted with an amazing power. You’ll be able to craft the life of your dreams (and also recognize what dreams are truly vital for you to follow your bliss). Our life paths are not random. We all have a gift and a purpose. Our purpose is not always clear, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth looking for and exploring. And remember, your life mission can shift, morph and change. It’s OK if what satisfied you in your twenties no longer works for you in your forties. Reevaluate and redesign. Design is an evolution. It’s constantly shifting and developing. There is no “start” and “finish”.

Happy designing!.

August 3, 2010

Cailen Ascher

happiness, health, my book, tips for well-designed living, well-designed living, wellness

Don't Worry, Be Happy : )

August 3, 2010

Cailen Ascher

happiness, health, my book, tips for well-designed living, well-designed living, wellness

Did you know that you have everything you need within you at this very moment to be happy? You just have to recognize it and choose it. Yes, happiness is a choice. Sure, if you had a bit more money or weighed a bit less, maybe you’d convince yourself (or allow yourself) to be marginally happier for a short time, but what it really comes down to is your attitude.

Every day we are faced with a thousand little things that we need to take care of. We all have to go to the grocery store, walk the dog, go to work, make dinner, pay bills, etc., yet some people just seem to enjoy the ride more than others. Some people see life as a journey, enjoying each precious moment; others see it as a destination, always waiting for the future moment when they can “enjoy” life. When you think about it, doesn’t it seem a bit wasteful to put happiness on hold until some future date when the stars align, you magically lose 20 pounds and win the lottery? Because, chances are, that day will never come, or even if it does, I’m sure your hair will be frizzy or you’ll get in a fight with your husband… If you can’t be happy now, what makes you think you’ll be “happy when…”?

Happiness grows from the inside out, not the outside in. Choose happiness. Choose it now. When something starts to bother you, and you feel yourself slipping into that negative, dark space, take a deep breath and smile. It may seemed forced, but over time that smile will transform into a genuine grin : ).

July 28, 2010

Cailen Ascher

happiness, health, my book, myth, perfection, self improvement, self-help, well-designed living, wellness

The Myth of Perfection

July 28, 2010

Cailen Ascher

happiness, health, my book, myth, perfection, self improvement, self-help, well-designed living, wellness

As I've mentioned, I'm currently working on my latest book (working title Health, Happiness & Home). It's going to address how to live your best life by listening to your intuition, simplifying your life and home and seeking beauty in all things, including yourself. Here is a taste of what I'm working on...

The myth of perfection permeates our lives. We constantly measure ourselves and our lives against standards that no one (or at most very, very few individuals) can attain. Worse yet, when we fall short of these unrealistic ideals, we criticize ourselves and feel like failures. We believe that we have to be the perfect wife, sister, daughter, mother, employee, boss, lover, etc. in order for our lives to feel happy and complete.

This idea that only perfection is acceptable; only perfection can be appreciated, only perfection can be loved drives many of our lifestyle decisions and goals. Yet, these goals, as important as they may seem, are often completely ego-centric and unattainable. We scrutinize every pound we gain and turn to unhealthy methods to lose weight, truly believing that if we could weigh a bit less (or a lot less), we would be able to get our lives on track and find that elusive harmony and true satisfaction we’ve been craving. We wish for more money, nicer clothes, a bigger home and better car, thinking that if we only possessed these tangible symbols of happiness, we would truly be happy. But, as physical as these emblems of success and happiness might be, they’re not real. They are not (and never will be) what truly makes us happier, healthier and saner.

The problem is that the concept of perfection is flawed. The notion that only perfect, ideal, faultless beings are allowed to partake in what makes life miraculous and are the only ones deserving of true happiness is ludicrous! Nobody is perfect. No one has their act together all the time. The trick is to do the best you can with what you’ve got and have faith that if you believe that you deserve happiness, happiness will undoubtedly begin to make its way into your life.

So there you have it. Just a little sample of what I'm working on. Hope you enjoyed it! And keep checking back for more : ).