jealousy

Business Crushes: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

business crush
Have you ever ridden the business crush roller coaster?
Come on. Don’t act like you haven’t had a business crush or two in your day.
I get them all the time, and they always start so innocently.
You stumble across a new blog, maybe after seeing the gal behind it featured on another site or interviewed on your favorite podcast. You peruse her content, read her posts, investigate her offerings.
Wow! This chick is really cool. I LOVE what she’s doing. She’s awesome. I wish I could hang out with her. I want to be her friend!
You’re totally smitten.
You sign-up and read every email she sends, feeling like it’s a personal note just to you and not a mass mailing to her thousands of subscribers.
You follow her on Twitter, like her page on Facebook, stalk her online whereabouts and daydream about attending her live event or taking her online program, just for the chance to befriend her.
There’s no denying it. You’re crushing hard.
For now, you’re still in the safe zone, but it could turn ugly fast. Watch out. I know, because it’s happened to me.
What do I mean?
One day you’re casually crushing, and suddenly there’s a shift.
You start comparing your stuff to hers.
She’s so much more innovative than me! I never would have thought to include that in my program.
That blog post was amazing - like she read my mind. I could never write something that spot on.
She’s so ridiculously good at what she does. I’ll never get to that level. Ugh.
Comparison is deadly. It makes you feel like crap and totally trashes your energy.
It’s just like that middle school crush on the hottie a few grades above you, when you went from being high-as-the-sky when he smiled at you to a mopey puddle of mush feeling sorry for yourself when you realized he didn’t know your name.
Business crushes turned bad can wreck your spirits.
But don’t worry, I’m not just going to leave you there, beating yourself for having the occasional business crush.
It’s perfectly normal -- and natural -- to admire the amazing work other awesome-preneurs are doing out there, but when you let it affect you negatively, that’s where we need to pump the brakes.
So, instead of allowing business crushes to turn ugly, I challenge you to harness that crushing power for good!
Here are some ideas:
  1. Send your crush a little “love note” telling her that you admire the work she’s doing. (Who knows, maybe you’ll become actually friends with the gal you’re crushing on!)
  2. Be inspired by her. If you love the way she writes, the look of her website, the head shots she has, the sales page for her signature program, ask yourself in what ways can you up your own game to appeal to your ideal client the way she’s appealing to you.
  3. Spread the love. Remember how fun it was talking about your crush with your BFFs? Same goes for business crushes! If that gal you’re ga-ga for is inspiring/helping/motivating you, chances are her work will uplift your biz friends, Twitter followers and social media pals. Do her a solid and share her good work around! (Plus, you’ll be putting money in the Good Business Karma Account when you do :-)
The key takeaway is this (and it's tweetworthy!) -- The next time you’re plagued by a business crush, don’t let it crush you! @CailenAscher #crushinghard #smitten #LOVE
Enjoy the crush (while it lasts), and squeeze as much positive ju-ju out of it as you can. And, when the time comes to move on, you’ll be left with the memory that it was good while it lasted.
Who’s your business crush? Spill the beans in the comments below so that I can start crushing on them too!
xo,
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P.S. Stop crushing and start connecting! Find some real-life business crushes (that’ll soon turn into business BFFs) HERE.

how to deal when you're "not where you should be" in your life+biz

this past weekend, my husband and i (and our baby daughter) visited with friends at their gorgeous, fully remodeled home.
as we chatted and exchanged new parent stories, there was a little voice in the back of my head saying "omgosh -- this place is huge! and they have a brand new kitchen! what did they think when they visited our place mid-renovation a few months back?"
i was simultaneously happy for them and also a little jealous, coveting the "posh" lifestyle they seemed to be living, marble countertops and all.
to top it all off, the thing that has afforded them this fortune is an entrepreneurial venture gone very, very right. and somehow that was a little like salt in the wound. and the nagging voice in my head went on to question, "what am i doing wrong that i'm not 'killing' it in my biz?"
as human beings on planet earth, we're confronted with situations like this every day...
the yogi on the next mat who is gracefully holding a pose that you can't even fathom getting into.
the mom at the playground who is perfectly coiffed and effortlessly handling her polite children as yours run rampant.
the entrepreneur who seems to have it all figured out as you struggle to make ends meet.
but, the truth is, we NEVER know anyone's full story. even those we're closest to have countless things that they're dealing with that we're totally unaware of.
when we gaze in from the outside, everything looks perfectly in place -- rose colored. but if we dig a little deeper, we realize that everyone has "stuff" they're dealing with.
everyone has bad days, weeks or even months. and, if you look really closely, i'm guessing you wouldn't trade places with anyone, not even if they have new designer furniture in every room.
in this week's teaching, i'm sharing 4 strategies that'll help you deal with that uncomfortable restlessness that arises when you find yourself thinking "i'm not where i should be in my life+biz".

is this something that you deal with or have dealt with in the past? share your experience in the comments below. i LOVE hearing from you + ready everything you write!

 

 

how to deal with jealousy

we've all been there.
we look at someone who [appears to] have it all & we feel it...that ugly pang of jealousy.
and, because we're yogis, we're even harder on ourselves when we experience it.
"this feeling isn't yogic"..."i know better than to be jealous"..."i shouldn't be feeling this way"
but, the truth is, we're all just human, and jealousy, just like any emotion, is part of the deal.
there is a silver lining, however.
jealousy doesn't have to be just a one-sided, negative emotion that we hide -- it can actually fuel us to be better!
if you want to learn how to cope with those pesky feelings of jealousy whenever they creep into your life+biz, check out the video below. in it i share 3 simple strategies to transform jealousy into something that'll help you grow for the better!
 

i LOVE hearing from you!

in the comments below, share a time when you felt jealous of someone else, and how you transformed it for the better.